I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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