I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
