i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
