When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
