honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
