matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
