Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
