Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
