It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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