So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
