Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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