You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
