2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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