i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
