I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
