you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
