at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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