when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
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