She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
