i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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