one might say we're banned from that church
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
