it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
