at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Randomize
