I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
