So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
