I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
