we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
