May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
