If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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