My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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