grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We are all done wearing pants today
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
