My liver just broke up with me...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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