i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
