was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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