what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
