My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
why is half of my head shaved?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
