We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
