my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
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