apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Randomize
