We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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