i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
