like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
