I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
