dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
