need another drink. this is the easiest way
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
