bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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