Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
