Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
