Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
