I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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