I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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